It’s befuddling how the last couple of weeks of this process are supposed to be the tough weeks.  If therapy ends roughly mid-November, then the tough two weeks are, well, just about the entire month of November.  It’s also supposed to be tough for a couple of weeks after treatment stops, as the internal process keeps working.  So the first two weeks of Nov are the last two weeks of therapy and the last part of Nov should stay tough.  What is befuddling is that if November will be the tough time, what does that make now?

The last couple of days was riding a steep curve.  There is no way I can eat or drink anything by mouth now.  The huge tongue sore lies along the side right at the tooth line.  While the tongue is at rest they meet, and rub.  And when not eating or talking, the tongue is at rest.  And burn sores have also appeared at the back of the throat.  I’ve got to be hoping that since I’m receiving rad burn spill over on good parts of my neck, that it’s for sure hitting the mark and pelting señor tumor.

So everything is going down the gut port.  If I’m thirsty, which I am often, water in the gut port.  Tried calling the doctor (one of them) today to ask about prescriptions, but I could barely talk — not because of the voice box, only for the mouth pain.  Again, this is no pity party stuff and I’m not complaining.  I’m only documenting, and hey, I’ve got to be honest with myself.  After all, now is not the tough part, unless, as they’ve been saying, everyone reacts differently and for some reason I’m having a sensational early reaction.

My sister recently met a guy who went through the same process last year in Chicago, nine weeks of chemo/rad.  He did it all without a PEG tube.  I don’t know how he ever did it, except that one year later and he is still underweight.  So maybe it was trying.  I’m just grateful that every time I’m hungry or thirsty, I can whip out the feeding tube.  It’s become a well needed friend alright.

At least tomorrow I can pick up a new prescription of pain liquid which can be  dumped down the tube.  Took the pharmacy two days to get it — the wonderful world of controlled narcotics, here I come.