The sores on the sides of the tongue seem to be at the point of ebbing.  Not yet, but they seem to be.  And already taking their pain place are the sores in the back of the throat, the color of which is now white.  But this is normal, for this treatment.  And every day of rad treatment only burns it more.  It’s such a non-pleasant thought,…..which is why the thought must be focused on healing.  The pain just hurts so good.  It is,…a rather pleasant thought.

When I get to rad treatment there is only one technician at 7 am., my appointment time.  She’s been doing this for 35 years.  At 8 am. and for the balance of the day, there are 2,3, & 4 technicians working the station/room.  But at 7 am., she’s the only one.

So when I get in and she calls me into the rad room, I install my mouthpieces and rolled up gauze on either side of my tongue, and I start assisting her through my set up.  It doesn’t take a walking nerd to see what needs to be done so I started doing this weeks ago.  Little things like get the sheet out to prepare the table and do some of the other set-up items where I’ll be strapped in.

Like other times, this morning she says again, Mr. Spaghetti, you really should think about getting a job doing this.  You really like this and you are good at it.  You are only the second person in 35 years who has assisted like this.  I’m glad to have the gauze stuffed in my mouth because all I can do is moan an “em.”   It avoids me telling her the truth, that I’m doing the prep work for me, not because I’m checking out possible career choice moves.  The alternative of making a little effort to gain efficiency is sitting on ass watching.  I’ll just let her think it’s a new career interest.

After today’s rad session means that there are now 10 to go.  But as they’ve been warning me, things will get worse before they get better.

3 thoughts on “w5/d3

  1. Mother

    The big push! Just when you think it could not get worse the tipping point will appear and heft you onto the silent movement toward observable healing. You will have earned it–big time. Love ya.

  2. Stryker Warren jr.

    Fred S.: You are remarkable; your chronicles are extraordinary amidst the therapy, toxicity, and side effects; at times like this one would normally think about sending food to the house, inviting you out. . . and then I wonder how to help you address the sores, pain, fatigue, nausea–some incredibly difficult issues for you to deal with and for those of us on the outside looking in, frustration Dr. #1, Dr. #2, and doctorsⁿcannot offer relief. Sending excellent karma, best wishes and encouragement for you to remain strong, as comfortable as possible, and with the best recupertative powers possible. Please let me know when we can begin the party planning because it shall be one for the ages. Stay focused, stay strong, and “see” señor MF tumor flat on his back, KO’d. Luv ya mon.

  3. Richard Lake

    You ended on an ominous note. But like all things, the finish is the hardest and the it gets better…much better.

    Stay strong, Fred. A platter of Chicken Ceases and other delectables wait at the finish line!


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