This is the first blog, with any consistency, that I’ve written.  I’ve written one other which is more a random compilation of thoughts, most just silly. But this blog is more focused. It has a purpose. It’s like a mini-digital diary for a specific process.

My friend who came to visit last week has always kept a diary.  He’s kept one going for several decades. With his intelligence, perspective and travels, I’m sure his diaries would make bestsellers, although that is far from his intent.

Over the years I’ve always wanted to start a diary.  I have in fact started several.  But the attempt never lasted more than five days.  It was always too hard to wait for the hands to catch up to the thoughts.  Or have the thoughts slow down to the pace of the pen.  But now with so many digital devices with full keyboards, the ratio of thought-to-text has improved to the tolerable level.

Regardless, when I started this mini-diary, it seemed like a good thing to do for  several reasons.  First, I was motivated to document the process, how I felt from day to day, week to week, from beginning to end.  Not that I have intentions of living in the past, but I might want to go back after this is said and done for perspective checks.

Second, I have a rather large and loving family including six very caring sibs. I wanted to be able to communicate with all of them the same.  Never any issues with ‘I told him’ and ‘not her’, etc.  Additionally, it’s a way to keep a few close friends in the loop.  From a communication management point, it’s leagues better than voice.  Everyone gets the same information and gets it at their own convenience.  Add the fact that I had not anticipated barely being able to talk and it’s a no-brainer.

Third, its been a tiny diversion for me, which may help emotionally in some way (??). Even though some days its been a (slight) chore to write something, it’s never been a larger one in comparison to say, the tongue exercises I’m supposed to be doing.  Fourth, if there is a chance it helps someone in the future then that alone is worth it (aren’t I a nice guy).

But one of the unexpected surprises writing this blog has been receiving comments.  I just never thought of them when I started.  And, the comments are much appreciated.  Given that maintaining the daily posts for now has been enough of a challenge, I’m sure the comment posters understand that even though most comment have not elicited a response, the comment is much appreciated nonetheless.

At times, I also found the comments almost steering how I wrote.  For example, I may have wanted to tone down descriptions of pain so as not to elicit return comments of pity. But this is a diary and my intention later is to understand what it felt like now.  Yes, I’d forget how week five felt compared to week four or six (not that it may ever matter).

The long, longer and longest of the short of it is that I’ve been very grateful to hear from every comment poster, without exception. And I’ve enjoyed each and every comment, without exception.

Today’s comment, on a post titled comments:  it never hurts to throw a little love out there in a comment, to most of whom you come across, physically and digitally.

5 thoughts on “Comments

  1. Stryker Warren jr.

    Freddie, let it rip! Do not hold back! Do not dial it down when you choose your adjectives and adverbs! “MF” is very good for starters. Got my attention. We want to know about Drs. #1 and #2; the nurses; the technicians; the food; the sugar packets; the gag techniques to set you up for the “beam”; your abdominal camelback; your folding bike; Gladys’ various therapeutic contributions and love; the tough meetings you have soldiered through; the little guy on his back outside rad-central on the tile floor; your wicked constipation; brown, more brown, and more brown; the romance with great chocolate and excellent coffee; your heat sensitive mouth; hair loss. . . these pictures you paint are amazing. You have caused us to appreciate the very essence of the battle you wage and the little things we take for granted. You are an inspiration and a phenomenal court reporter. Your “daily” is generally the final item I read at night. Your blog, journal, diary is sufficient to recognize we become stilted with our priority-setting processes. And we must live life to the fullest and take nothing for granted. Freddie, we expect you to kick some serious tumorass. You are an inspiration, you are a warrior, you are simply amazing. Amongst the many in the Spaghetti fanclub, I wish you comfort, strength, focus and a vicious intent to finish what you have valiantly started: pummel little tumorass. I await its waving of a white flag. Luv ya mon.

  2. Elizabeth

    Words, words, words. Diary or comment, the worth is in the honesty. Your words are read and appreciated for their honesty. Raw and vulnerable. Thank you for them.


    Freddie its been very interesting following you on you journey. So very real and inspirational. Now I have another journey for you. Like that bike ride you and I did from Chicago to Lancaster I’m signing you up for the STP ride in July of 2012. Seattle to Portland in one day. You are going to have an awesome power/weight ratio. Team Spaghetti, what do you say? Lets get a team together.

    1. Throat Cancer 2010 Post author

      Señor Peter, sign me up. I’ve been wanting to do that ride for a while. Although I’ve done it a few times on a motorcycle, I’m relishing the thought of pedaling it with you and whomever else we drum up for Team Spaghetti. I think I can have the kits made. And July 2012 gives us some planning room. You always were good at coming up with the big idea. FS


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