Wow was in nice getting a relative good night’s sleep. Even though it was on the couch, only getting up every few hours with restful sleep in between was a big plus. And brushing my teeth for the first time in eight days was a bonur.
The big question about this phase of cure (for me) is, whether it was worth having hard-fought nuggets taken away. And not just the recently hard-fought nuggets, but new ones now in the equation. B’tards.
Swallowing is work. In a way, this nugget has been altered. Prior swallowing was limited by burn pain. This time it is tightness and swelling, which is different but who is measuring. I can’t have stuff going down the wrong pipe requiring a trip to the er. Solid food is out of the question again for now. It feels like I’ve come a long way to go back again.
The nice thing about radiation, because of its delayed effect when combined with surgery, is that just about the time you feel somewhat more human from surgical healing, the effects of the radiation will start. They pulled the radiation out on Thursday morning the 17th, means that I’ll be feeling the effects of the radiation sometime between the 24th — 27th, and it will last about two weeks. My big fat tongue and throat which are giving me grief because of the wires and trachea better start healing soon because they will have the onslaught of the radiation effects to deal with.
The biggest nugget loss right now is walking. Now both feet hurt as well as the calfs. If the pain doesn’t stop and recede, the hobble will soon turn into a crawl.
And why, if lymph node #3 in the front neck midlevel was the questionable node, would they also pull out lymph nodes on either side, i.e., #2 & 4? Why? Because we live in western medicine’s world and I submitted to it. When in doubt, yank it out. So barbaric — just the mentality of it.
Well I can’t cry about not being able to walk well for now. It’s just another nugget to work for. But I can wonder if all this was worth it. The big question that’s pointless to ask.