20 Feb, 11

Actually, not all the effects of radiation are delayed.  Part of my neck reddened within the day.  Perhaps more notable is that the trach hole (and other associated mouth and neck healing) is also delayed with immediate effect.  The trach hole normally closes within a couple of days I’m told.  Mine will take longer because I’ve had radiation.  It’s now been three days since the tube was pulled out and the hole has closed more than 50%.

20 feb 11

The other cuts/holes are healing ok.  The tiny holes under the chin are the tough ones because their counter part holes are on the inside of my mouth below the tongue and those 14 holes create considerable soreness for each swallow.  It’s a slow retreat for those cells.  The trach hole is hiding beneath the white bandage.

From a walking perspective, I entered GV’s therapy world yesterday for at home help.  Ouch.  And I mean ouch because her therapy is painful.  She knows pressure points and how to make a grown man yelp.  Anyway, feeling a little better today, although still sensitive.  To continue with her therapy, I’ve got to follow all her instructions (just about complete submission while under her care).  She knows her stuff, but the cure time is not one day to the next — rather an investment in time is required.

While she was massaging my left calf and feet today, she actually said to me in all seriousness that my ‘p factor’ was quite low.  Actually, she told me I was kind of a pain p-ssy.  That comment kind of slapped me hard in the brain.  She said that her patients can take more than twice the amount of force that I can without grimacing or yelping.  What I lack, she says, is the discipline to breath deeply, meditate, and convert the pain.

Those comments didn’t do much for my male ego.  But as discussed before, the ego only gets in the way of progress.  Swallowed (no pun) those comments with appreciation I did. Need to get back to the breathing exercises (please close trach hole).  As she told me, I need to welcome the pain.

Anyway, it’s Sunday afternoon and the 1st weekend in my adult life that I’ve spent entirely at home.

Wednesday will walk to the clinic to get the stitches taken out of the neck (and stomach). Hopefully the neck hole will be closed by then.  Soon I’ve got to go inside the mental labyrinth and learn how to increase my p factor before the next therapy session (tomorrow).

1 thought on “20 Feb, 11

  1. Stryker Warren jr.

    Fred: Thanks for sharing the physical, mental and emotional components. Your candor is exceptionally revealing and has permitted your fan club to understand your experiences that would otherwise be foreign. All of us wish we could take turns stepping into your shoes to give you and GV a break from it all. Here’s hoping the hobble returns to your favorite gait soon and that the healing process proceeds as quickly as possible despite the effects of radiation on tissues that must now mend. Powerful stuff with collateral consequences that contribute to the quandary of modern medicine’s plusses and minuses. Your “p-factor” is much higher than most and represents one of your strengths. I trust the nuggests shall re-appear. All the best my man, swjr


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