The effects of the delayed radiation must be starting. One week after radiation and I woke up this morning with more swelling, numbness and pain in the mouth than the last few days. And, it’s harder to swallow. Apparently, all this change and new stuff is something I’ve got to deal with for the next two weeks before it subsides.
So the first week after surgery it’s dealing with swelling from the operation. Then, just as this swelling starts subsiding, radiation induced swelling kicks in. Nice. But I’m not complaining, though the temptation looms large.
The sales appointment today was not the most pleasant (nor the most unpleasant). I tried to get away without saying anything, but when he asked “what’s wrong?” I had to offer something: “oh nothing much, just had some wiring done in the mouth and I’ve temporarily got to hold a hand over my throat when I talk.” But the meeting was productive even if it was a little weird.
Can’t say it’s not frustrating being back where I was three months ago, except that now I don’t have a stomach feeding tube. Now my stomach is empty and I feel hungry, but the thought of eating only to receive acute ear pain is not appetizing. But I’ve got to force it, even if just a little. And, whatever I drink ends up leaking out the trachea hole (thankfully only a little). Don’t think it should, but it does.
But it’s all temporary. Doesn’t mean that temporary can’t suck, only that it takes more attention to perspective. Right now perspective longs for the days when I’ll be able to eat semi-normally, i.e., chewing and swallowing normal food without it leaking or being a painful process. They are right around the corner I’m sure.