17 March, 11

Keep your chin up.  That’s what I need to keep telling myself.  The neck, because it’s swollen, is also very tight.  Guess also from the surgery.  Therefore, I’ve noticed that it’s more comfortable throughout the day with my head bent ever so slightly downward.  This would be barely noticeable except for the fact that when I do lift the chin, it feels very tight.  And I’ve been lifting the chin in the mirror because of the crease that has been developing at the front of my neck.  When the chin is up, it disappears. Maybe that crease is telling me something.

Anyway, I swear I was having sweet dreams.  Happy dreams.  When the night before last I woke up and my tongue was swollen to twice its size.  I couldn’t maneuver it to swallow correctly.  It was a little frightening as I was hoping that it was done swelling.  And as now, part of the tongue felt like I stuck it in scalding hot liquid.

So I spent the rest of that night sleeping sitting straight up, thinking that any neck-up fluid needed to drain down.  That seemed to have worked. A few hours after I woke up from sitting up, the swelling started to abate.  But it did prompt me to want to sleep last night with one eye open but some things you’ve got to let go. I sent Dr. Rad an email about it yesterday first thing, but he didn’t respond.

Still no closure in the throat hole.  Wrote the surgeon Tuesday about that and he called me to say he doesn’t know why.  The only other case he’s had that has gone longer was “an old person” (his words) who had longer than normal healing time.  The scar on my neck and belly healed well (so he told me not healing well wasn’t my issue).  Also, when I got to PEG tube yanked from my stomach, the doctor then said it could be 2/3 months for the hole to close and mine closed in two days.  Go figure.  But speaking this long with my hand on my throat isn’t what I signed up for.  Neither is the swollen neck and tongue.  These are the surprise reactions.  Don’t think that M.D. is going through this stuff.  But then again in a month or two I’ll supposedly be glad I did go through all of this.

All this stuff must be for a reason.  Perhaps some actions do in fact create an equal and opposite reaction.

I’ll be testing the air pressure again at 40.0 ft with an all-night redeye back to New York arriving tomorrow morning bright and early.  If sleep comes, at least it will be upright so I can keep an eye on the tongue.

It would be nice to give speaking a rest, but that’s just not possible.  Have a few back-to-back meetings tomorrow and talking is mandatory.  I need to make up for much of the downtime from last Fall and this Winter.  Sitting on my ass is not a luxury as I’m sure it wouldn’t be for most anyone reading this.  But until “the stuff” is behind me, I’ve got to keep reminding myself to keep the chin up.  No extra creases needed.

6 thoughts on “17 March, 11

  1. Stryker Warren jr.

    Fred: your candor and introspection are amazing; wishing you relief and a complete recovery from a medical pounding that is off the charts. Be assured there are legions in your camp rooting for you in this exhaustive battle; may the end soon appear along with the coveted nuggets. U R the Warrior. I remain in awe. swjr

  2. Stryker Warren jr.

    Fred: Thinking of you and GV, and hoping you are feeling, seeing, and sensing improvement. Best, swjr


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