missing the magic

In New Orleans heading home today. Yes, airborne again with a post. This trip I made with hand-carry luggage. Since more than half my bag is filled with sales samples, I was very judicious about what I brought. The little liquid ziplock bag had the bare essentials. It didn’t, therefore, contain the magic mouthwash. I guess I could have transferred some into a 3 oz container, but I didn’t think about it. Perhaps I should have.

It’s just crazy that a few bad humans tried to make an explosive device and the result is that most liquids are taken away for air travel. A perfectly good bottle of drinking water must be thrown away before security and a new one purchased inside security. That is, if you are in an airport that sells water after security. There are some that don’t. (After security you are not allow to drink anything?). So I can’t bring the magic mouthwash in its regular pharmacy bottle. All because a few asses tried something and the entire industry had to (over) react.

After 9/11, I was living in Mauritius when the rules started to change about what could be brought on board. It was ludicrous I thought. It still is. Once, when I went through security in Mauritius post 9/11, the security took away my little fingernail tool case that I bought in Germany. It was very compact and practical. Small clippers, small trimming scissors, a file and a pic in a little leather pouch. I asked the security guard why they were taking it from me, and he said it was a new rule. It was dangerous. I remember looking at him feeling like he was kidding and I pulled a pen out of my pocket and put it to his neck and told him that this thin metal pen, stuck in the juggler, could do more damage that my nail kit, so why wasn’t he taking my pen. He told me just to forget it and move on. I was flying business class on that flight and the airline served the meal with metal silverware, complete with a metal knife. Go figure. I did collect my nail kit a few months later in a collection room in Johannesburg, S.A. during a connection. It’s still with me, but not on hand-carry flights.

And, it is incredible to think how one human, only one, by trying something nasty and criminal, has lead to millions of passengers daily having to take off their shoes before boarding a plane. Millions daily. That is the definition of ‘huge reaction.’ I remember thinking, if one of those guys decides to stuff something up his (or her) rectal cavity, then we might all have to drop drawers and bend over at security. We have the technology. Just install full body scanners and be done with it. If you don’t like it because it happens to be the quickest and most efficient form of processing security, then don’t fly. Some things should not be up for debate, like not opening the cockpit door for any threatening reason.

Back to the point. I wanted to bring the magic mouthwash just in case. But I didn’t want to chance having it taken away. So behind it stayed. Then in LA two days ago, at a business lunch which was a sushi spread, I snuck over and asked the sushi chef for his softest fish and had several delicious pieces of sashimi. But there were so many different, wild looking sushi rolls that I couldn’t help myself. I guess a couple of them were loaded with wasabi, which I normally love, but the sensitive tongue rebelled wildly. No amount of cold water or cool coconut milk would cool the screaming receptors. Only time or magic mouthwash. I had the time. I sat, sipped, and smiled. Then in New Orleans yesterday at another lunch, I was nursing a mild gumbo and some fried green tomatoes when someone offered me to taste the creole jambalaya. “You’ve got to try!” One forkful would have constituted a taste, but I took three. Then the burn settled in. There was no cool coconut milk. Just a lot of mental cursing.

Yea, I guess I could get a medical exception. A doctor’s note might allow me to take the magic stuff with me. But I’m not an exception kind of guy (except when it comes to being upgraded to a forward cabin). I’ve got to will this tongue throb away. Will the tongue back to normal. Will the swollen neck back to normal. Will the ringing out of my head. In short, I’ve got to develop the will that will allow me not to miss the magic.

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