no foolin

“Get back to your life”, says the doc.  Yesterday was my one month follow up appointment with the surgeon.  “Get back to the gym, to biking, swimming, whatever.  Do it slowly, but you can get back to being physical”.  ‘No foolin,’ I’m thinking.  No, no foolin he seems to say.  So as of today, April 1, there is no more foolin around.

That means the throat hole must be closed.  For the most part, it appears so.  You can’t see that it’s closed, but only feel that no air is coming out when I breath or talk.  He pokes around inside with a q’tip and says I’m on my way.  Get he wet, he says.  No more leaking coffee, tea, or assorted protein liquids.  One nugget achieved.

Then I ask him about my fat neck.  On the left side, it’s very hard, and swollen.  He feels and confirms and says that I’ve just gone through some major stuff and the body takes several months to settle down.  “It’s only been six weeks so far,” he says.  “This too will pass.”

hole getting smaller, only slight granulation. neck swollen above and around neck dissection scar

Then I ask him about my theory about handling hot liquids and the relation to radiation.  Funny thing, but he says the same thing the doctor in San Francisco said.  He said that I perceive (as some people do) what’s going on in the body more than most (i’m out there on the fringe).  He says for most people it’s more gestalt; they know how they feel overall.  But I describe the pain or the feelings to every little detail.  “What a bummer,” I say.  “Why?,” he says.  “Why?”, I say.  “Because I don’t want to feel all this stuff.  It’s clearly a bummer.  I don’t want to feel the different sores on my tongue and the sores in my throat in different places and the crap that is going on in my neck or the acute ringing in my head.”  He shrugs his shoulders.

Doesn’t matter.  It’s April, fool.  I was planning to get back to the gym anyhow.

And, nothing a simple bandaid can’t hide, making v-necks a possible option.

But I’m looking for more doses of patience.  I know I’ll find them somewhere.  No foolin. (please don’t tell April)

5 thoughts on “no foolin

  1. Elizabeth

    All right for back to the gym! I’m sure that getting that blood pumping harder will make you feel good, and probably help the whole draining process. You got this Mr. Spaghetti.

  2. rel43

    The swelling looks a lot less of what it did the last time we saw each other, Fred. Can’t notice the trach hole with the bandaid, either. Lookin’ good, bro! It’s a noticeable improvement.


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