what hurts?

Some say that love hurts.  Guess that could be true(?).  But getting into emotional hurts is way too deep for me.  I’ll consider myself lucky that I don’t have any of those, (that I know of).

The swallowing hurt caused by the ulcer on the back of my tongue is lessening somewhat.  A few degrees less, but less nevertheless.

Kind of a blessing, as long as it’s bland,  that swallowing is without as much pain.           But getting chewable solid down,  continues to be too much a strain.                                  So sticking to low viscous liquids, healthily concocted, where I’ve most to gain.

The biggest challenge I have though is the tightness that’s developed on the left side of the neck between my scar and chin.  The lymphedema therapy three times per week is helping, along with daily exercises.  But if I don’t work out this stiffness soon, I’ll be able to use my head and neck as a battering ram without any consequence to the neck.  Getting in the more racing position (in the drops) on the road bike was a shocker (lifting my head up).  I’ve got some serious stretching to do.  And stretching isn’t something that is done once in a while.  Stretching doesn’t lead to flexibility without serious dedication over time.

And lucky again, that doesn’t hurt (too much).  It just take discipline.  And time.

On another note, I just finished three days of a data base course.  What hurt was, in a way, listening to the instructor.  She was very pleasant and knew her stuff all right.  She was logical and the course flowed at a good pace (I knew that because I was always racing to keep up).  What hurt was listening to thousands of “umm’s.”   She spoke so well, but at least 60% of each of her sentences began with an “umm.”   20% of her sentences ended with “umm.”  Since she spoke nearly all day for three days, she must have said “umm” thousands of times each day.  It was almost (but not quite) as much as Pres “O” when he is not reading a scripted speech.  Anyway, there were so many umms that it kind of hurt.

Weird how something like that can almost hurt.  What didn’t hurt so much but was curious was her pronunciation of words like “important”, which she pronounced “impor ant.”  And “button,” which she pronounced “buh in.”  It wouldn’t have been so evident if she hadn’t uttered these words dozens of times in short periods.  I know she can pronounce “t” because she said “introductory” and “intermediate” perfectly well.  Logic out the window.  It may not have hurt so much but it did take my mind off some of the dbase functions that I needed to absorb.

Then I biked home and it was chillier than I had planned.  I was about to tell myself that I should have brought a heavier jacket, but then I thought, “whoa Fred, it doesn’t hurt.  It’s just uncomfortable.  It’s not bad being uncomfortable once in a while.  Enjoy the uncomfort.”  And in truth, it didn’t hurt.

So what really hurts?  Absolutely “nuh in.”

2 thoughts on “what hurts?

  1. Mother

    You missed you calling. You should be the professor. Sure sounds like a N.Y. accent to me. There is a beautiful former movie star on, Whose Got Talent, who speaks that way.
    I want to pound on the screen and tell her to correct. How futile is that?
    I am closing this message with a smile on my face because we share a pet peeve.
    I close with a lingering question that you provided. What really hurts?
    What really hurts is waiting for you to get better and feel better.

  2. Ed vanReuth


    Rita and I just spent a wonderful weekend with Susan; where we got an update on you. Our hearts and prayers are going out to you and we know you will beat this.

    Lots of Love,

    Ed & Rita


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